Post by Nathan on Aug 17, 2017 12:27:33 GMT -5
"This Place is Ready to Blow" Firework pyros go off, as the fans at the sold out Fast Food Coliseum cheer loudly, holding signs such as 'Return the Slab', 'TTG Sucks' and 'How did SpongeBob get a campfire underwater?'.
Kent Brockman: Welcome to our inagural debut of Saturday Night Action. I'm Kent Brockman, with Perch Perkins joining me in the booth.
Perch Perkins: That's right, we have a lot of exciting matches to bring to you this week.
"King of the Hill" blasts on the PA System as Hank Hill steps out to the stage, waving to the fans, giving front row fans high fives.
Cosmo Cosma: Please welcome, the owner of IMCW, Hank Hill.
The fans cheer as Hank Hill enters under the top rope and takes a microphone from a staff member.
Hank Hill: Well, I think this is a great place to start IMCW. I never thought I would run a wrestling business, but look where I am now. With the support of my loving wife, Peggy, and encouragement from my son, Bobby, I created IMCW to create a whole new layer of wrestling. Enough about me, we got a lot of matches to fill, I hope you enjoy the show.
The fans cheer, as the first match gets underway.
Cosmo Cosma: The following contest is a tag team match, set for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by Mr. Krabs, from Bikini Bottom, at a combined weight of 3 ounces, Patrick Star, SpongeBob Squarepants, the Krusty Krushers!
"Goofy Goober Rock" blasts on the PA system, as the Krusty Krushers make their way to the ring, accompanied by their manager, Mr. Krabs. They slide under the ring and pose to the crowd, receiving a loud pop.
Perch Perkins: Two of television's most popular icons.
Kent Brockman: You can say that again.
Cosmo Cosma: And currently in the ring, at a combined weight of 394 pounds, the team of Dr. Light and Brother Blood.
Kent Brockman: Looks like it's a 393 pound and 13 ounce difference between the two teams.
Perch Perkins: Don't count the Krusty Krushers out, Kent.
CatDog is the referee for this bout. The bell rings, with SpongeBob starting off for the Krusty Krushers, against Dr. Light. Dr. Light lifts SpongeBob in the air, but SpongeBob escapes and does a missile dropkick onto Dr. Light. Dr. Light sits up, but gets kicked in the back of the head by SpongeBob. Dr. Light falls to the ground again.
Kent Brockman: You think being attacked by a sponge wouldn't hurt.
Perch Perkins: You would be wrong.
Dr. Light makes a tag to Brother Blood, while Patrick Star gets tagged by SpongeBob. Patrick throws left and right hooks at Brother Blood. Brother Blood irish whips Patrick, but gets clotheslined when Patrick Star bounces back. The fans cheer for the Krusty Krushers. Brother Blood gets up and tries to apply a cross chicken-wing. CatDog checks to see if Patrick is going to tap, while Mr. Krabs takes a $20 dollar bill out of CatDog's wallet.
Kent Brockman: I think this how the Wolf of Wall Street started making money.
Perch Perkins: No, you fool, he started with penny stocks on the market.
Mr. Krabs turns to Perch when he mentioned 'penny', as Brother Blood still holds a lock on Patrick. Star counters, and nails the Star Cutter. Patrick throws Dr. Light out of the ring, and then tags SpongeBob. SquarePants goes on the top rope, and connects with the
Perch Perkins: They just got Krusty Krushed!
SpongeBob goes for the cover on Dr. Blood. Cat from CatDog makes the count. 1.. 2.. 3..!
The bell rings, as CatDog raises the Krusty Krushers' hands.
Cosmo Cosma: Here are your winners, SpongeBob SquarePants and Patrick Star, the Krusty Krushers!
Kent Brockman: How much do you think their manager takes a percentage from the Krusty Krushers for each win?
Perch Perkins: I think they pay Krabs. He's a con man, after all.
Aqualad is already in the ring, waiting for his opponent.
Kent Brockman: He said some mean words this week.
Cosmo Cosma: And his opponent, making his way to the ring. From Nowhere, Kansas, weighing at 244 lbs, Katz!
[#StandUp] appears on the titantron. Pyro blasts as Katz comes out wearing his gold cape. The villain taunts with a evil chuckle before making his way to the ring. All the while "Bodies" by Drowning Pool plays, Katz enters the ring and takes off his cape, the crowd seemingly dancing to the lyrics as the song fades.
Perch Perkins: I have been looking forward to Katz's debut for weeks.
The referee is Cleveland Brown. The bell rings and Aqualad runs towards Katz, but Katz knees Aqualad at his stomach, causing Aqualad to fall over. Katz walks towards Aqualad and does a standing moonsault.
Kent Brockman: Cat-like abilities gets you very far in the IMCW.
Perch Perkins: Maybe it's because he's a cat, Kent?
Katz makes a cover onto Aqualad, Cleveland starts the count. 1..2.
Aqualad kicks out at 2. Aqualad falls out of the ring, looking for recovery time, while Katz warms up the crowd with taunts. Aqualad crawls back with a golf club, looking to end the match via DQ, but Katz superkicks Aqualad, sending the golf club flying over Cleveland's head.
Perch Perkins: This could have ended in a DQ, but Katz didn't want it to end that way.
Kent Brockman: At least Aqualad didn't bring a bathtub, or that would have brought the ref some PTSD.
Aqualad lays on the ground, and Katz goes up and connects with the Last Dance! But Katz isn't done yet, He stands up and approaches Aqualad's legs. He starts to go for the figure-four-lock.
Perch Perkins: History Repeats! Katz is locking in the History Repeats!
Kent Brockman: No need to alarm the crowd.
The fans cheer, as Cleveland asks Aqualad whether he wants to tap. Aqualad resists at first, but after several more seconds, he taps out. The bell rings, with Cleveland Brown raising Katz's hand.
Cosmo Cosma: Your winner of this match, Katz!
We go backstage, and we see Donald Duck and Lincoln Loud clutching to their knees.
Perch Perkins: Looks like Duck and Loud may not compete tonight.
Kent Brockman: The mafia did this, or the Illuminati.
Jason Chaffetz smiles, holding a baseball bat.
Jason Chaffetz: I'm a Fox News star, not some cartoon chump, Hank Hill, Bugs Bunny, bring me some real competition within the next two weeks, or you'll lose your biggest star.
Perch Perkins: A threat made to our head honchos, how will they respond.
"Ghost Division" blasts on the PA system, as Ludwig Beilschmidt makes his way to the ring.
Kent Brockman: How do you think he'd react to Charlottesville.
Perch Perkins: I don't know. He seems to be stuck in the time period of World War Two.
"Good Morning, USA" blasts on the PA system as Stan Smith, along with Roger Smith, makes his way to the ring. He waves the American flag around, giving fans high fives, but with his fingers only.
Perch Perkins: Aren't high fives supposed to have the palms connect too?
Kent Brockman: He's part of the Peanut Illuminati. He was with Jimmy Carter one time.
The bell rings and the two grapple. Stan Smith gets the upper edge and hits a bodyslam. He goes for the quick cover. 1..
Ludwig kicks out at one. He does a kip-up to kick Smith in the jaw. He throws Smith out of the ring and waits for the referee to count. 1..2..3..4..
Stan Smith gets back in the ring and tries to take Ludwig with a tackle, but Beilschmidt lifts him over his shoulders. He picks Smith up and goes for a jackknife.
Perch Perkins: This isn't even as close as about, as I thought it would be.
Beilschmidt goes up and connects with the Leipzig Leap, an amazing star shooted press. He goes for the cover 1.. 2.. 3..!
Perch Perkins: Beilschmidt wins.
"We're Not Gonna' Take It" blasts on the PA system, as Mordecai and Rigby make their way to the ring.
The lights suddenly turn purple, as Tiger Millionaire makes his way to the stage.
Tiger Millionaire: Mordecai and Rigby, do I have the proposal for you. My tiger investments have left me very fortunate. I'll give you $50,000 to throw this match and forfeit to us.
Rigby: Let me see the money.
Tiger opens up the briefcase, revealing the money.
Mordecai whispers something to Rigby, but Purple Puma sneaks up from behind and sucker punches Mordecai. Tiger Millionaire races to the ring to attack Rigby.
Jason Chaffetz slowly walks to ringside, and pulls out a lawn chair to observe the match.
Kent Brockman: Special guest getting a close view.
The bell rings with Purple Puma applying a Crossface Crippler to Mordecai. Mordecai reaches to the ropes to break up the hold. Tiger waves his briefcase around offering his opponents to submit. Mordecai attempts to lift Puma, but she hits a Fallaway slam on Mordecai. She pins Mordecai's wing behind his back and uses her legs to prevent Mordecai from using his feet, or talons. Rigby jumps on the top rope, but Puma rolls over so Rigby hits Mordecai. Puma tags in Tiger, but Rigby starts to pounce and hit Lou Thetz presses. Rigby gets to a corner to attempt a spear, but Puma distracts the referee, giving Tiger time to nail a briefcase. While the ref is distracted, Jason hits a lol blow on Tiger, dropkicks Puma, giving Rigby the time to pin on Tiger. The referee goes for the count. 1..2..3.!
Kent Brockman: Cheaters never win.
Perch Perkins: Jason made a statement tonight.
